Today's New York Times ran with the headlines "Refeathering The Empty Nest" and purported to show some great problem affecting the psychological well being of countless college students. Boo freakin' hoo.
In case you missed it:
Tom Crady, vice president for student services at Grinnell College in Grinnell, Iowa, is sympathetic about the anxieties of homesick freshmen, particularly those who “come home Thanksgiving and realize their room is gone.” Parents, he said, “should probably include their son or daughter in a decision like that.” Neil Gerard, the associate dean of students at Pomona College in Claremont, Calif., warned that students “are going through enough changes” in the fall of their freshman year.
Parents of Kenyon freshmen are warned at an orientation seminar against stopping at Ikea on the way home. “Honor that space at least through Christmas break, and then make some decisions as a family,” said Alicia Dugas, Kenyon’s assistant dean of students. “Every year, inevitably you have a student come back during spring break and say: You’ll never guess what my parents did.”
At the risk of sounding heartless, let me just say one thing: Parents, get over it. Do what you have to do. Put all of your kids' stuff in boxes, send those boxes to off site storage, and if your kids come back because they can't finish college, charge them rent. It might sound harsh, but it'll do your kids a world of good. Nobody messes around in college when they've got no safety net and no real home to come back to.
Back in Boston, my parents are doing God knows what with my room as well they should. If you think about it this way, I was a tenant for those eighteen years and now they've got every right to do with it what they want. Parents when you keep your kid's room they aren't able to make the break they so need to make. They keep two identities -- one at college and one at home -- and when your kid is miles away, he feels like there's some world back home that's waiting for him, that he's missing out on. It's best if that world is destroyed.
The Baby Boomers are raising a general of mollycoddled, Milquetoasts who haven't gotten the stones to make it on their own. They think they can go home, but like going to war, you can never truly go back home.
College, believe it or not, is actually not that much of a rough place. Sure, you're doing your own laundry and hooking up with random people, but otherwise you probably eat better than you ever did in high school.
So in a nutshell: Rent your kid's room. After all, you're paying the bills...