Gannville: Breaking a Few Eggs to Be Number One

New statue honoring the new Pitzer Hall

I just found out that many faculty members (not just those in the government department) are referring to faculty trailers on the tennis courts as "Gannville." The word on the street is that there are only two rooms with air conditioning for our prize faculty.

This all reminded me of what I believe is the greatest piece The Claremont Independent has ever done. It's long, but I've posted it all below because I believe it should be mandatory reading for anyone concerned about the school. The ending in particular touches on the question of offices for our faculty.

At the time, our back-page policy was to not name the authors, but I can now tell you that the genius behind this was then-editor Kevin Vance. You can see why the Weekly Standard will be happy to allow Kevin onto their staff.

*Warning: Our touchy readers will be offended:

This article was originally published in the September 2016 issue of the Claremont Dependent.

We're Number One!

CMC at the Top of the U.S. News Rankings

U.S. News & World Report has ranked Claremont McKenna College first in the nation among liberal arts colleges in its 2016 rankings. This is CMC's first time in the top spot, and is the culmination of the great effort and vision of CMC President Pamela Gann.

"We're absolutely thrilled," said Gann. "We put 15 years into this effort... it is so wonderful to see it finally pay off." CMC's board of trustees lauded the president for her leadership.

"We want to give Pamela all the credit for this," said Ann Quinley, chairman of the Board of Trustees. "It wasn't until the last Stark appointee resigned the board that we finally got behind her. She believed in the 'New CMC' before anyone else."

U.S. News announced that CMC is the first school to receive a perfect 5.0 ranking in the "peer assessment" category. College presidents, provosts, and deans of admission were impressed by CMC's 15-year turn from its dark conservative past. Nearly everyone agrees that CMC is now a bright progressive star in the liberal arts community.

According to Pomona President David Oxtoby, "Pomona College will need to quickly follow CMC's lead if it wants to remain competitive in the market for top students. There are still pockets of hate at Pomona, I'm embarrassed to say." Oxtoby later confided his fear that some Pomona students will transfer to take advantage of CMC's tolerance major.

CMC Dean of Admissions Richard Vos marked the beginning of CMC's transformation as 2006, when he says he admitted a giant incoming class. "That really prepared the students and faculty for our long-term plans," he said. "Once we grew by 30 students a year, no one was bothered in 2010 when our first class of 500 entered CMC."

Of course, housing was a big problem from 2006 until 2012, when CMC completed Kerri Dunn Hall, the largest building on the 4Cs. It stands on the old property of Pitzer College, purchased by CMC in 2009. Although the building is a tasteful eight stories covering four acres of land, it was not always to be. The first architect planned to erect a 40-story skyscraper on the property, but the city of Claremont rejected the design.

"Can you imagine what the reaction would have been if CMC, a former all male college, built a giant phallus to house our first-year students?" said ASCMC President Nancy Smith CMC '17.

Another housing change was the roommate policy. According to the presidents of Amherst and Swarthmore, CMC now has the most progressive housing policy in the nation. In order to keep students with a homosexual orientation from having to live in an environment of fear, CMC instituted mandatory mixed-gender rooms. Now, a male can only room with another male if one of the two people primarily identifies as a female.

In addition to the new beautiful buildings, including the 5-year-old, 40,000 square foot underground facility called Pitzer Hall, Gann credits the rapid expansion of CMC's academic programs for the rise in its peer assessment score. One of the first new departments added was the First Nations studies department. "We didn't want our new ethnic studies departments to have sub-par faculty, as is the case at some of our peer institutions. That's why we went right for the best. Luckily, Professor Ward Churchill accepted our offer for the tenured position."

CMC is the first liberal arts school in the nation to offer more than 50 different majors. "My critics used to say that we couldn't be the best at everything," Gann said. "I invite them to take a look at our course offerings!"

The administration is most proud of the leadership department, which occupies two-thirds of Pitzer Hall. By all accounts, the leadership department's "Semester in Pyongyang" program is the first of its kind.

The Marian Miner Cook Co-op is the largest all vegan co-op among liberal arts colleges. "Once CMCers began to agree with each other on everything, there was less of a need for the forum that the Athenaeum offered," said Rainbow Wilson, advisor for the co-op. "In fact, some would argue that it is better for conservative opinions not to be shared in an environment devoted to tolerance and education. After all, hate has no home at CMC."

The report from U.S. News suggests it was the mascot change that put CMC over the top. "Come on, stags?" said Vice President of Student Affairs Jeff Huang. "I wonder if our founders even understood how offensive such an aggressive, stereotypically masculine mascot would be at a college trying to air out its dirty laundry." The CMS Lambs celebrate their fifth anniversary this year.

It has not been an easy road for CMC, and there continue to be hurdles to its progress even today. According to Dean Vos, the school accidentally admitted a self-identified "conservative" student in 2014, but by chance, he decided not to come here. "That was really a close call," said Vos. "I have made it my personal mission to see that it never happens again."

Unfortunately, the old government and economics faculty still do not have their promised new offices. Instead of new offices, the board of trustees approved the purchase of the giant mud pit just east of Claremont Blvd. With the generous donation of some elderly alumni, the government and economics professors were able to pitch a few tents in the bottom of the pit. Gann, in a moment of charity, offered them some desks and chairs that were about to be thrown out. She says that next year the school plans on setting up a wireless network in the pit. "We're just thankful to be back in the city limits," says an unnamed government professor.

"You can't please everybody," said Gann. "In order to impress college provosts, presidents, and deans of admission, there were difficult decisions I had to make. We want to compete for the best students here at CMC, and the new rankings from U.S. News will make that dream possible."